she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
