How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
