if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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