so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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