Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
