You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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