We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
