non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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