Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
