please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
