Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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