you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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