Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
