i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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