i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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