He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
