Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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