is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
