yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
