Sry I called you an 8
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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