i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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