So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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