The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
