So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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