I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
