does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
