All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
