Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
handjob tips. give me some.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
