Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
