It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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