So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
