she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I supernannyed him into submission
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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