i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The best revenge is premature balding
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
