had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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