absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
