Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
