yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
