I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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