you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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