he thought i was a dude.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize