Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
