Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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