So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
