I am puke
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
