good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
