I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
