DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I got inside last night via doggy door
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
