She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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