I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
