singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
