Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
That's intense
I wish life had little blips of pornography
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
