i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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