Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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