Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
