jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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