Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
