scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
