Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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