their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
