we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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