i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
