He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
