best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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