So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize