so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
