her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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