well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
