he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
organizing the empties. That sober.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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