You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
