I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
