I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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