You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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