it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
