Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
