**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
