I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I am available for nakedness
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
