i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
