are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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