My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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